Today I have been feeling drugged up and drowsy. This happened even without taking my second dose of calming remedy during the day but I feel it's still the remedy at work.
I had a phone session with my therapist Haley this afternoon. Haley says I am just covering up for the pain I feel inside by accepting this feeling of numbness. Haley says I should be worrying that there is something 'wrong' with me. She says I should at least care because I use to care about things and this is not me!
So, upon pondering about what Haley has been telling me, I do feel that I am having a hard time living with Kerri and her daughter. I have social anxiety and I hide in my room a lot. I do try to come out but my anxiety rises and I feel awkward and uncomfortable. I have pretty much given up my yoga and other forms of self care that I use to thrive on.
I don't know how to act around Kerri's daughter Hope so I don't say much. I feel like I am inferring when I am home with Kerri and Hope. I feel like maybe I just get in the way sometimes. I certainly am of no use to Hope being unable to drive her places. We all eat different diets, Kerri, Hope and I so I don't cook for Hope and rarely for Kerri...
I could have called my homeopath, Terrance, for an appointment before our monthly appointment this Thursday. But I welcome this tired, drugged up feeling because it's true I don't know how else to cope with stress at this time.
So maybe on Thursday I will get another remedy, maybe not quite as strong, that will help me and perk me back into reality. I do want to get out and get back to my volunteer jobs and do my own food shopping. I want also to be calm and mellow though. Are both possible?
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