It's No Secret - You Peeps Read My Blog :-D

All of Kerri's friends read my blog. That is what Kerri's daughter Hope tells me. There are about 5 couples Kerri hangs out with and I go to the gatherings now too...

Last weekend, at Kerri's friend's annual Thanksgiving Meal, I knew Frank was reading it. He had told Kerri a few days prior. Frank never brought it up though. He acted so normal that I didn't feel weird. Now that I know ALL of Kerri's friends read my blog I think it's 'cool' even though since they have started reading it I have found twice people put in the reactions column 'not interesting'. This doesn't offend me too much because there is no comment :-P.

Perhaps Kerri's friends are just skimming the blog entries to see what I say about Kerri, Hope, or themselves but this is fine, lol. I'm sure they are concerned about my anger and want to make sure Kerri is 'safe' with me and well taken care of. I try to make this blog about me though so that no one gets hurt :-). I am honest because I love reality. I love to read or watch something on TV and try to figure out why a person does this or that.... .

Of course doing anything these days is jarring and I get exhausted just going through the motions. I want to get to know Kerri's friends better though because these people have been her support for 20 years by the sounds of things. How awesome!

I don't have a lot of friends. It's pretty much by choice. I never call anyone. I only Facebook someone if I like there status or have something to say like Happy Birthday. Mostly my self esteem is sooo low that I feel too much of a burden on my past friends. I wanted to be 'well' by now. I wanted to be working a paid job and not crippled by depression and anxiety like forever ago....I'm happy enough though despite feeling miserable at the moment with depression - if that makes any sense, lol.

I do get out when I feel up to it and attend lesbian and mental health groups. Those groups host activities like drop-ins, games nights and dances...Kerri comes with me and we have fun :-D.

I hope to get out of this depression/ anxiety soon so that I can get to driving my car again and get my Independence back, oh yeeeeeah!!!