Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I Hope This Means I Am Slowly Getting My Supports Baaack? :-)

One great thing about today was that Tori, my outreach worker called me! This was a great relief!

Tori was calling me to invite me to the memorial service for the lady who died in the fire at my old group home last week. I have never met the lady but I am also not good about things like like funerals and memorial services (or anything out of my routine for that matter). So I told Tori that I probably wouldn't be going to the memorial. She said she knew I would probably not feel up to going. It was awesome she thought of me and called though.

Tori only had a couple of minutes to chat with me on the phone and acknowledged that she didn't have time yet to debrief about the fire. I found out though, that I can reach her by e-mail. I was told by my case-manager Jenn that Tori was unreachable by any method so this is great news! I still don't access to the rest of the staff at my old group home where I was able to call anytime of the day or night. But at least having my outreach worker is more then I had this past week.

I was sooo waiting for Tori to call. I wrote her a letter to get her up to date on the situation between my case-manager and I. I told her how Jenn continually refuses to take me shopping and stay with me at the store. Maybe Tori will help advocate for me because I feel like I have little use for my case-manager at the moment. When we do talk I have to think of things that won't upset her or I. Is this not ridiculous? :-).

I really want to make things easier on Kerri. I want to live with Kerri but unfortunately she feels like I am like another kid she has taken. This is so sad for me yet I feel frozen and unable to deal with the outside world much at the moment. I feel to unfocused and slowed down because of the depression to drive and everyone is saying that they are noticing my weight loss. I feel I don't eat because I don't want to leave the house to shop. Our relationship therapist Haley brought this up in counselling today.

For me eating isn't that easy for me especially when I am anxious or depressed. I do have anorexia yet I use to be able to force myself to eat during those times when I was getting out and getting food. I thought I was never going to slip back into the 'starving mode' again but here you have it...

Anyway I found something I think is highly amusing yesterday. Here is the link: http://dooce.com/2009/11/16/2010-former-congressman-charles. If any of you are following my tweets on this blog (scroll down a bit on the right) you may have seen this calendar before.

I had seen this calendar other years while following Heather's blog. This year though after seeing the Chuck's calendar I started thinking of making a Speckle Calendar. She does love to pose for pics and knows her name! Tate will likely the calendar too as he and Speckle are so cute together and Tate has some hilarious poses :-P.

I love Heathers humour, most days, lol. She is a bit off the wall sometimes but I follow her on twitter and I find her amusing....

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