Sunday, November 29, 2009

Detoxing Off Meds That Weren't For Me. Fun Times...

I am feeling pretty down today. 

I am enjoying my time cuddling with Kerri  and watching a mooovie (soon we will be hibernating watching Christmas mooovies :-D) but things have been pretty tense lately between Kerri and I.  I've come to the conclusion that a loving relationship (or is it just puppy love lust) is bipolar at the best and worst of times.  Kerri is my first love but I hear this from others in relationships too.  I am seeing patterns in myself and in Kerri so maybe I can start building up the walls of indifference before the storm strikes from now on? 

Three days ago my homeopath, Terrance, started detoxing me off Celexa and Haldol.  These drugs were horrible for me! 

Celexa is an anti-depressant.  It gave me a horrible chronic back ache all up my spine for the whole two weeks I was on it.  Further I ended up losing 15 pounds in those two weeks.  I couldn't eat more then a bite at every meal before I felt stuff to the gills!  I reported this to the staff and they didn't believe me that I wasn't eating.  Um, they were the ones taking my trays back.  Another thing about Celexa is that I ended up getting a painful infection in on my gums due to the fact that the drug made me shake so bad I couldn't brush my teeth even a little for those two weeks.  I was an in-patient in the psych ward at the time seven years ago and I did have to endure a lot.  But hey I was manic for my whole stay until my psychiatrist Dr. Dinton started me off on Lithium...manic as an in-patient for seven weeks and the the staff couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, wierdness!

Haldol  is just a really painful drug for me to be on.  They use to give it to me as a prn anti-psychotic.  It caused me to have trouble breathing.  My tongue lost the ability to compress so I had to keep spitting.  I was in soooo much pain in my jaw which felt locked.  I would try to scream and cry but this was hard because my mouth was so stiff.  The staff would have to give me a needle of Cogentin in my butt cheek to bring down the reaction.  Cogentin comes in pill form but this never helped me.

Could my detoxing off these medications that were so wrong for me be why my anxiety and depression have been so extreme?  Yep, could be.  Or not, who knows.  Homeopathy does bring stuff out though.  Or not, anywhoo, Terrance has told me NOT to come of my psych meds.  I asked him if my meds are the reason why I have such extreme reactions to the homeopathic remedies and detoxing etc.  He says I'm not ready to wean myself off anything and I know that but to here him say that made me feel good because I was feeling like western medicine and homeopathy were like clashing or something.

I also have trichotillomania which is a hair pulling disorder in the obsessive compulsive disorder family.  It's a compulsion.  I have been hair pulling more then normal for the past couple of weeks.  I do this when I am anxious (which is most of the time).  My mom says she can get me something herbal to stop it but I think if I just work on my anxiety and my issue - the underlying causes and detox then I will be OK.  I use to have an actual bald spot but I don't think it's that bad now.  I had stopped for a bit one time after this one lady at my old group home use to scream at me every time she saw me pull my hair out.  Yes it did work to be screamed at.  I hated it though, so don't anyone get ideas :-P.

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