Revenge Of The Miracle Remedy...Perhaps?

So I woke up angry today when I realized that I forgot to hand in my insurance papers for this months meds to get free coverage. I took my calming remedy, Valerian, lavender oil and relaxation tea. I was still raging mad.

Kerri had driven me to the superstore last evening so I could have handed them in to my pharmacist but I forgot. I am good at writing notes to myself and had done so. I taped the note to my fanny pack but it had fallen off.

I get so frustrated that I continuously have to depend on Kerri to do everything that requires leaving the house. I was perhaps feeling intense fear that of course I would never get the papers in by the time I need my meds delivered again in a week and a half. I can't give the papers to the delivery guy. So, I got mad and lost my temper like it was Kerri's fault or something and she didn't even see this coming....

Fortunately I was able to apologize soon after and Kerri was accepting enough to be sweet to me and we cuddled. I told her maybe I should lay off the homeopathic remedy for a couple of days because I took it this am and it had the opposite affect on me then what it was suppose too.

This is the first time in the month and a half I have been taking it that the remedy has not helped me! Usually by the 40 minute mark after I ingest this remedy, I am able to calmly say what is upsetting me...My homeopath, Terrance, warned me this may happen and advised me that if it does the opposite of what it's suppose to, I am to stop the remedy for 2 days or so and then resume...Um...I hope I can do this as I rely on this remedy as a sleeping pill but I will try :-).

I also feel that my agoraphobia is a nuisance. I don't know how to just get out and do stuff anymore...Kerri said she would take me out driving so that I might get back into the swing of things. I told her this is what I want but my anxiety and depression is really severe still. I know that the lithium I take creates confusion and spaciness inside my head which is something I think is unsafe for driving if I am having other issues...

I so still want to live with Kerri. I love her so much it makes me want to cry. I know I can heal but I don't know when I will get better. I need to work on self-care though. I do nothing. I cuddle with Kerri. I sit in front of the electric heater Kerri has provided for me. I don't do much else though although I do follow positive role models on twitter and I find this amusing, lol.