I have to say that the nighttime is the worst for me sadness-wise. For the past couple of days since hearing about the fatal fire at my old group home I have been crying. I cry at night when it is dark and quiet, nothing to distract me, nowhere to hide from the pain...
I feel guilty about feeling this overwhelmed by something I am not directly involved in. Then I am watching Oprah today and see a woman (Charla) who is now disfigured and scarred after an attack by a 200lb pet chimpanzee. I look at Charla and hear her talking about healing and I wonder why I can't feel that inspiration. I have everything to live for. Why am I so sad and not interested in feeling my feelings?
I think we are given what we can handle. I feel I can handle this depression. I am in treatment for it through my homeopath. Homeopathy has already cured me of my seasonal allergies, chronic back pain and my knee issues.
People are concerned about me but I'm not really. I was telling Kerri the other day that I have only been taking this calming remedy for a month and a half. It's definitely helping to calm me down but I still feel so depressed. I know that homeopathy usually takes 2 - 3 months to resolve an issue. I have hope. I just need to rest now. I am like an animal in hibernation or something, lol.
Now back to Oprah. The women Oprah had on her show today is named Charla. Charla was always scared of this chimp who was trying to literally eat her alive before he was shot to death by police. Charla was so kindly agreed to take care this chimp from time to time, who was a family pet owned by her boss.
Here is a video clip of the interview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMT-5ygCxaM. The moral Charla wants us all to remember is that wild animals are wild for a reason and are not safe to have as pets. She also wants us not to be troubled by her disfigured face. She feels like the same woman as she was before the attack. She looked like you and me.
If she can have hope then so can we all, no?
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