I feel angry and yet unfortunately this is soo usual for me. I feel angry because my girlfriend Kerri's alarm clock was beeping at me from her bedroom in the next room. I do wear expensive fitted ear plugs but I can still hear a lot! Kerri was actually downstairs and didn't even hear her alarm so I had to get up out of bed and go into her bedroom to shut it off...I was still tired but too angry to go back to zzz-land argh!). Getting a good night sleep is so hard!!!
It's no wonder Kerri doesn't believe in Homeopathy. I have been doing Homeopathy since December for anxiety and it has not done much, if anything to help it as of yet. On the plus side it has almost completely wiped out my seasonal allergies; taken away the chronic back pain, and my knee pain that use to keep me from walking more then 3 minutes at a time. So I have hope that Homeopathy with take away my anxiety, in time.
Homeopathy works on healing all of you bit by bit. You can't just see a Homeopathic Practitioner (or at least the one I see) for like one thing. It just doesn't work that way. I do pay for Homeopathy but I do know that it has saved me time and money already. I use to go 2x a week to an Acupuncturist, Dr. Yang. I stared out seeing Dr. Yang for my anxiety. That lasted a year but didn't help it over all. It was nice though, like a massage. It was heavenly until the needles got taken out and I left the office. I saw Dr. Yang a second year for the chronic back pain that lasted a year. Acupuncture it didn't help my back or my anxiety because it wasn't able to help the underlying cause if my symptoms....So now I have more time and money to do other things and more money to spend on other things.
With my knee problem, I was almost ready to go pay for a physiotherapist because the wait list for an OHIP one was so lengthy...I told my Homeopath Terrance that maybe I need something for my knee because its not going away and it had been 2 months of pain. Terrance gave me something for it and 2 weeks later I woke up with this pain in the right side of my lower back (my knee pain was in the right and so were the probable cysts found in my breast). After an hour the pain moved to my middle back and then an hour later it was gone. I was intrigued since Homeopathy brings stuff out... but I wasn't paying much attention until 3 days later when I was walking with my case-manager Jenn. Jenn says 'You are not wearing your tensor!' I'm like 'Oh yeah, cool!' This was last week and I've been walking on it lots and it feels so good to be healed. All I had to do was put a drop of remedy on my tongue 5 x a day! I didn't pay a cent for physio although I did ask my family doc for a sheet of physio exercises to do on my own at home for my knee. Doctor's can give out info like that no problem...
About my anger though, Kerri that I need my sleep. I'm sure her not shutting off her alarm was an honest mistake. When I get angry though I get that speedy feeling when I rage like this. Kerri wonders if it's bipolar or rapid cycling sometimes because I get all racing and then the next moment I am fine but embarrassed and filled with shame. I don't know how to take it down.
I do know that I need food, again. This is where I feel so trapped. The nearest food store would be an hour walk away and I there are only rush hour buses that would take me. This means on only one direction unless I take an hour an a half to go in the other direction including a half hour walk to the bus stop. I was able to drive and I shopping 2 days ago. But I misjudged that I would run out of lettuce so fast. Now I have barely any left for the chicken salad I want to make for lunch today. I also noticed at breakfast that there are only enough eggs to last me until Saturday but everyone uses the eggs so I am sure I won't breakfast soon either. My girlfriend says she won't drive me for food today. I am so agitated I don't think driving is a safe decision on my own.
In 2 days I have to go on a special 6 day diet for a colon cancer test. For this test I will have to drastically cut down my vitamin C and cut out beef entirely. Cutting down vitamin C is scary as I worry this will compromise my already stressed out immune system and make me physically sick! But, I do want to do the test since there are already cyst like bumps in my breasts I know I need to be careful although there is a history of breast cancer and none of colon cancer...awww breathe!
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