Henna Me Red!!

It's raining out and the annual picnic for the organization for people with disabilities that Kerri(y)'s and I were suppose to go to is NOT cancelled! It's been raining since 4am though so we are not going. It rained on the picnic date last year too and they did cancel it, but whatever! It's suppose to rain all day with 18 C for the high. I don't know if many people will agree to that!

Kerri and I were suppose to go out regardless and meet up with Kerry but I was in tears this am telling Kerri I needed a day of rest; cuddling; yoga and massage. Stuff to take down my severe anxiety. I did write a letter to myself as a five year old this morning. I guess I feel I should nurture myself more and not go-go-go as is my pattern. Why? This pattern is not good for me until I can get a handle of my anxiety. I hope I can get healed from my anxiety sooner then later. I end up cancelling so many things and this is a disappointment to me. I don't feel I have any choice in the matter at this point.

As a student in high school and first year University, I never missed school due to anxiety or depression. I had the drive to succeed! I wanted a great job; possibly a family with kids; a nice house (Kerri and I have a great rental home though) and lots of moola! Unfortunately I was burnt out at 20! I am so tired of this fight and push. I need to figure out how to live with myself and be happy - not grumpy. I need to be relaxed and not tense and fearful. I do hang on to hope though. I am sooo happy Kerri will be in it for the long haul for me. I do love her sooo much! I will be healed! I know I will!

Yesterday Kerri dyed my hair with Henna (it's all natural, of course). Here is a pic! I was hoping it was a going to be a bit brighter but it's kinda cool. It's not permanent or anything. I also had my hair cut yesterday at First Choice Hair cutters. They have the most reasonable rates I can find for females. No appointment needed and I usually don't have to wait. I had a wash and cut for $22 which included a $3 tip. I know people joke about this place but whatever, they do a good job on my hair if it's washed first. All in all it was a pretty productive day!