I'm panicking again...I took my as needed zyprexa last night and this is what happens sometimes. I wake up having a panic attack or panicking and the day hasn't even begun. I don't know how to deal with sleep deprivation. That's why I took the zyprexa in the first place last evening. It usually knocks me right out! I surely don't want to call in sick to my volunteer job today but I get so exhausted after one of these episodes even after a good night sleep...
Kerri was mad with me all evening yesterday because she said I was yelling at her for not doing the laundry but I was only asking her to get her laundry together so I could do it for us and I had been for 2 days. I did get exasperated because she kept telling me she would do it 'later' and she never did until I did lost my temper a bit.
I feel the need for things to be done on certain days and to order my life so it makes sense. I also want to do laundry on my less busy days and I had shared with her that Sunday was the day I liked to do laundry. I did apologize because I don't stay angry long anymore. But it was too late she refused to talk to me and is still and is still not talking to me this morning. For someone like me who likes to talk things out I am holding onto anxiety over this, ick! I did call my support line last evening and am able to can call my Outreach worker Tori today if I can't volunteer due too fatigue and anxiety. Fortunately Kerri and I were able to come to a compromise last evening. Kerri suggested we do our own laundry from now on and I agreed. I have been doing my own laundry for years so I am hoping this will be one less thing to agitated me and to fight about....
Another issue though is Kerri's 16 year old daughter hope keeping me awake. Hope stays up until like 5 am some nights and has friends sleep over almost nightly becasue it's summer and she works evenings only. She is 16. I am afraid to say anything because I feel like it's great she has friends and I don't want her wishing I wasn't living here as this is her home more then mine. I am told this is normal behaviour but for a teenager anyway - the staying up late. It wasn't like they were really loud last night and I usually am not kept away by her as we are living in a nice sized house and Hope has a basement apartment (which has a vent in my bedroom). I did hear sound though and this was stimulating me and I was not able to sleep until midnight or later...then I woke up at like 6:30am and I need more sleep! I do need to drive to pick up my meds today...or I should although I leave a day window so I could pick them up tomorrow. Tomorrow though, I am wanting to go to Fitzroy harbour with my mental health drop-in though and so that doesn't leave much space to go to the other end of town where I still pick my meds (Kerri still hasn't heard from the landlord so I don't even know if I am for sure staying here at her place or if we are going to have to move or what is going on)...
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