Housing Issues, Ick!

It is discouraging that Disability insurance only gives it's clients enough to afford a rooming house. I have been on the waiting list for subsidized for 2 years now and the wait list is over 5 years long! I fight with Kerri about money because I know money is tight and disability expects me to pay for myself and half of Kerri's daughters rent. Kerri gets money for her daughter and works part-time with a decent wage. I suggested us moving into a 3 bedroom apartment but those are pricey too. There is a lot of stress and tension at this time. Even sleeping is an issue. The TV is blaring at the time I want to sleep and Kerri refuses to turn it down unless I get super agitated about it but then complains I bring up housing issues at bedtime when she is trying to rest for the night and I am overstimulated by the late night action in the house!!! I am so kind in the daytime because she sleeps in. I don't make much noise. I want her to sleep because I know how hard it is for me to sleep. Argh!!!

It's so hard living with someone. Now I have to make sure I am certain about signing a lease because it will be for a whole year and the landlords can take me to court if I move out and therefore obviously won't be able to afford it. The only reason the rent is going up in the first place is because I have moved in. Kerri is not even sure if she wants me here because I have to sleep in my separate room as she snores and I wake up for anything and nothing and she says we are more like roommates. This makes me cry because I love her but I know she is stressed and when she is feeling good she would never say this...

My case-manager Jenn said something a few months back when we were sorting the 'bedroom' issue and other stuff in the spring. She said we have to tolerate each others differences. This is want happens in a relationship. We will disagree. So right now I am feeling sad and stressed. I am sooo needing a job and the disability job search program seems like it will take forever....I can talk to my Outreach worker today. I do have supports that can help me though this...it's just sooo hard at the moment I want to cry as I love my honey Kerri but there is sooo much to think about!!!! Ick!!! OK I really want to show you some pictures from yesterday now and stop my rant because things are mostly good....

Here is a Great Blue Heron and some noisy Seagulls. Isn't The Heron a beauty? Kerri noticed him. She is great at spotting nature. I ran off to get a close up (I do run on my sprained knee if needed, lol).

Here's Kerri and I. I love the water behind us...so pretty. We were at the beach at Fitzroy Harbour with my mental health drop-in. It was raining some and too cold for me to swim...well, the air was cool but the water was soupy warm so some of the members were swimming. All in all everyone had a good time though!

In the evening I had to giggle a bit when I looked at how Kerri and I reuse bags. We hang it up like clothes on the line...hehe.