I got out of bed today only to have an hour long panic attack! This only happens after I have taken zyprexa the night before. I was told 6 months back by a psychopharmacologist that lithium and zyprexa can interact negatively together...but yet sometimes the morning after I take zyprexa I am calm. What this all means I don't know.
I did call my case-manager and say that if she takes me I will agree to see that shrink, Dr. Taos, that my resident family doctor has offered me to see (I have only been asking for the past 3 1/2 years, geeez!). I will not go alone because I have a fear of doctors and since they have taken so long to help me I have developed and apathy or ambivalence towards the whole medical establishment! Also since I know my meds are cr*p then I if I continue to feel better and get healed I will know it's the homeopathy and at have the choice to come off my meds or not...The tegretol has the side effect of Osteopenia and I was diagnosed with that when I was 31. I am OK now after starting calcium supplements and doing yoga daily for 11 months. I don't find tegretol has been helping me anymore and I was nearly weaned off it by my past shrink but then his therapy ended (they always seem to end therapy with me) and I got sick with crippling anxiety and I never seemed to come out of it for long...
I am awake now, barely. It's afternoon. After the panic attack I went into this sleep/ drugged up mode. I basically lay on Kerri's lap while she watch TV and played on her laptop. I wasn't sleeping much but I was so out of it....Yes, I had to call in sick from my volunteer job! I also called Jenn, my case-manager and suggested she come with me to any employment program. Disability runs one and they only take 'employable' people, apparently. I don't feel employable but I do want money so I don't have to mooch off my folks so much...argh!!!!
Sorry you had a panic attack. They are exhausting aren't they? Remember that you've had quite a few BIG changes in the last bit, moving, relationship, car, etc. I think you are doing quite well considering. Moving out was one of the stressors that made me unable to work ... it was too much for me to work and change my space. I am glad that I did move out though. I worked many years and now I am learning to live on my own. The learning never ends which keeps life interesting ;o)
ReplyDeleteThanks Werner. And yes the learning does keep life interesting!
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