Sunday, December 13, 2009

You Know You Live In The Country When Your Girlfriend Comes In With Deer Antlers, lol...


You know you live in the country when your girlfriend walks out the front door and comes back in with deer antlers!

Yep,  the antlers were shed by some deer on our property.  Speckle, of course, had to give them a good sniff over.  Our other cats didn't seem bothered but you see Speckle had never seen these before because she is a city cat!  I mean, we got her at when she was 1 1/2 half, but ya know...

So, I have been feeling happy for the past couple of days.  My anxiety is still over the roof so I'm still suffering in that sense but I'm reaching out on-line and meeting others with Agoraphobia and some have worked with an Occupational Therapist to try to heal but as my case-manager Jenn says you can slip back into Agoraphobia and to being housebound.  I'm hoping my homeopathic remedies and therapy can help get to the underlying issue of what is causing my fear so that I can have more fun in life and not just fun in my house being silly...

I did manage to go out shopping today.  Kerri took me to get my own mattress and box spring as the Tate must have chewed or punctured the air mattress I have been using (and the one before it).  I will have it on the 20th of December (my brother's birthday).  Until then I will be OK.  There is still air in the mattress I am using but I may have to keep blowing it up every night, damn cat!

Kerri and I also went for food shopping and I stocked up on whatever I could.  The roads were baaaad because we were in the midst of a 5 cm snowfall but Kerri didn't seem to mind the occasional slip/ slide.  She told me it was fun.  I know if that happened to me my anxiety would be awful.  Kerri drives for a living though and has been driving daily for years. 

I learned something new today.  Red chili peppers are waaaay hotter then green ones.  I put one on my tongue all cut up an hour ago and my lips are still burning. I just put it in my mouth.  No biting.  It was wild.  I'm not sure how I'm supposed to eat them and I love hot food!

But on a serious note, I was scared out in the car even just as a passenger.  I know this is probably because I was not occupying myself.  I noticed I was breathing very shallow.  My breath seemed to go up and down my neck and not at all into my chest or tummy.  This is not good but it's the typical way I breathe outside these days or sometimes even in the house.  I just have to do what I can do to get out and shop or if need be get Kerri to shop for me.  Kerri and I were suppose to go out tonight to a Christmas party to an organization I belong to but I cancelled because of anxiety.  I guess that doesn't surprise anyone...

So I do the things I need to do and not all of the things I want.  Will my agoraphobia end soon? I just take it day by day.  What else can I do?  I am happy though these last couple of days.  Oh, and I saw a Rudolph Car.  It was a car with antlers coming up from the driver/ passenger doors and then on the front of the car was a red nose.   Nothing surprises me, lol!

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