Monday, December 7, 2009

Why Men Flirt With Dykes...

So I asked this guy friend of mine, who has made it clear to me that he has been flirting with me, why guys flirt with girls who they know are dykes.  His answer maybe they think they can change you  (and that he didn't like the word dyke!).  My answer to that is Um, NOOOOO!  Don't you think that's been tried and said many times before???? 

Quite honestly I've talked to Kerri about the difference between dykes and bi-sexuals.  I feel I'm a dyke because I've never loved a man.  This is not to say that in the future, if and only if, Kerri and I grow apart and break up, that maybe I will fall in love with a man for the first time in my life.  Then I will start telling people I am bi-sexual.

When men flirt with me I feel nervous and uncomfortable.  I might flirt back in fun but when it comes right down to it.  A man will not make me fall out of love with Kerri, please! I actually don't like being flirted with.  But I know I have had fun flirting at times myself with a guy.  It's fun to have that power and get the feeling inside that I am wanted and that I matter.   

I love Kerri more then anything and we are totally monogamous.  It's complicated enough having a relationship with one person!  I have dated unattainable people but never found true love that way.  That was back when I was dating men and I was never in love with men anyways. 

Guys have told me that I am pretty.  I don't mind being told that I am pretty if it's not in a flirtaous way.  I wonder if men would think that I am pretty if they saw me at home wearing the same clothes 4 or 5 days in a row; with big puffy uncombed hair which is sticking up all over the place, and no make-up.  This is the real me most days lately, lol.

Kerri and I talked about what we would do if we were at a dance and someone wanted to dance with either one of us.  I figure for me I would be respectful and dance platonically.  I really don't want to hurt Kerri.  I also tell Kerri when a guy is flirting with me. I also tell her it upsets me.  I don't want secrets between us and I also want her to trust me. 

I think Kerri may still have an issue with the fact that I was dating a married man years back.  I told her I never cheated on anyone and she gets that.  I still understand if someone doesn't trust me totally and completely because of things I did in the past though. 

Things between Kerri and I are going very well.  I have been a lot calmer for the past 4 or 5 days.  I don't even think about taking my calming remedy anymore.  I still have a bit left but I am sleeping good and feeling not bad.  Tense and anxious but not angry and irritable. 

Life is good as I know it :-).

2 comments:

  1. Maybe it is the conquest thing; they want you specifically because they cannot have you, so on the off chance they actually get you they can feel all manly. That and I was watching this news segment on models in New York who do a live window (they dress and undress in the stores clothes inside the display window.) It was so funny because the models could see the people on the street but they were instructed to ignore them. Well, the guys on the street swore the window was made of one-way glass because "they just can't conceive of the models ignoring them." So maybe when they do flirt, they are looking for any small clue that they would have a chance (and totally with confirmation bias) so they can get a little fix of that conquest thing.

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  2. Yes I think that's what my 'flirty friend' was after, lol...I am not sure why it bothers me so much I guess that's bc of issues in my past..Thanks :-).

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