Cats/ Games And My New OT Cannot Get Here Fast Enough, LOL...

So again I was supposed to go out and meet Kerri's friends for another of their children's birthday parties.  Again, I had a panic attack and have been holding my breath all day, feels like. 

Kerri has been very understanding about this.  I showed her my trembling hands and she knows I was taking my valerian, lavender oil and relaxation tea.  I also ate a banana for the tryptophan but I have heard that there is so little tryptophan in banana's (and milk - I can't eat pasteurized milk though because of my blood type diet) that you can't really relax on it.  Dr. Oz agrees with what I've heard about the tryptophan. 

I hope Kerri's friends get that I want to know them more and not hide.  I stay home alone feeling sad and lonely at times.  I also feel safer so there is the draw.  I am less likely to have a panic attack, or so I feel.

One piece of good news is that the Occupational Therapist that will come to my house to help with my agoraphobia will be able to see me (although she doesn't know I live in the boonies)!!!  Her name is Charrie and she will possibly be seeing me once before Christmas too. Yay! 

Charrie will only be able to see me every other week that I know of.  My case-manager Jenn says it would have been most ideal if I would see her every week.  Two weeks is a long stretch before visits and there is more chance of slipping back into hibernation/fear mode.  Still, I am hoping that I do get better and out driving and getting my independence back soon!

Jenn guesstimates it may take up to 6 months for me to get my confidence back and not slip back again.  Charrie will take me out and teach me ways to keeping down my anxiety so that I learn how not to panic.  Now, I do have skills in this but I really need a coach to get me back into the habit of learning to relax myself.

So, for tonight, I may as well stay home and try to figure out if there is a way to win this game: 

http://www.members.shaw.ca/gf3/circle-the-cat.html

Kerri passed this game along to me.  She couldn't stop the cat from jumping off the page.   I know of 2 people who have solved the game.  One person figured it out after 6 tries and the other 5.  So far I have tried 5 times.  They don't offer a leash so I guess a cat will do what it wants to do for me, lol.

And, here is another picture of my own funny cat Speckle and her box/ house.   Notice how she is in the house when she plays.  Speckle will run through the back down of this box when I take out the string.  Then she will bat the string from inside. 

I think it's a sort of stalking thing where if she hides, the string/ prey will be less likely to run away and she gets more chance of attacking it.  I don't know, lol...Speckle runs to hide whenever I take out string.  In other cats I haven't noticed this behaviour but they are all unique :-D.