Thursday, December 3, 2009

Occupational Therapists Rock - I Hope Mine Does Anyway, lol...

I'm still feeling blah but also extremely excited and hopeful. 

My case-manager Jenn called today for an unscheduled phone check-in to see how I was doing.  She wanted to make sure I was OK depression-wise given that I had just lost my therapist.  I was sooo happy she called!  I was able to tell her I had gotten a new therapist called Cindy.  This was Jenn's recommendation in an e-mail she had sent me yesterday. 

Cindy is not a new person in my life.  I met her at a drop-in support group for eating disorders a few years back.  I was actually the only one who showed up that evening so I sat down and had a one on one with Cindy then.  Cindy is soft spoken.  I got from our meeting that she is very kind and non-judgemental.  Her speciality is eating disorders (of which she is a survivor) and anxiety.

Cindy is so what I need now.  The only reason I opted not to get her before is because she has been  working in the west-end of Ottawa.  I always lived across town and had to rely on buses.  Now that I am in the west-end also, this is sooo perfect!  Cindy was also the person that the co-owner of the eating disorder support program recommended to me when I asked 4 1/2 years ago...

Something else totally awesome about today is that Jenn explained to me exactly what the occupational therapist she is referring me to will do for me.  The OT will come to my house and we will chat for a couple of sessions about my anxiety and whatever strategies she has in store for me.  Then she will take me out of the house but address my anxiety as it comes up through exercises (on thoughts and breathing I suppose).  She will not leave my side until I am able to calm myself and this will be at my own pace.  Maybe 6 months or longer.  Whatever I need (bites nails!  I hope I can do this and succeed!).

I wish I was referred years ago - even as a child!  I never had a name for the fear.  I just got angry to keep people away.  Waste of a life!!!!  Then I just felt guilt, low self-esteem and misunderstood. 

I won't get an OT until in the New Year sometime.  I am not even sure how long the wait-list is.  I also know that I will have to keep going out and that even if I am sick and can't go outside that my agoraphobia might come back.  I am hoping not.... 

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