Monday, January 16, 2012

'Learning' My Rights: It's OK To Stand Up For Myself...

My homeopath Phil tells me to ‘stop depending on the remedies’ and to try to work on myself. What he means here is that I should stand up for myself. I recently had a lady called Casey (not her real name) try to follow me on twitter after I had her blocked. She simply changed her twitter name and made a new account. At the same time I had 2 strange calls one day after another where no one said anything and the call was not traceable. I only picked up the line thinking it might be my worker Jenn as she does not identify her calls from her cell.

I was petrified that this Casey, a lady from my ‘dark’ past was not able to respect me enough and over rid my saying no.  Another friend of mine from the past told her to stop calling her line looking for me millions of times when I had blocked my phone number for 4 years…this whole ‘Where’s Lisa’ game has been going on for 6 years, well, maybe more. I did end up calling the cops by the way. I haven’t pressed charges because I am not really afraid of her I just want her to go away. There is more of course but I’m so tired of this fear stuff I feel.

I did for a few days protect my tweets so that only my followers on twitter and those I choose to come follow me can read my tweets. After chatting with Phil though and him realizing how I love to reach out and mingle on-line. I love the feed back I get and the people who tell me I have helped them in some way...So, it was suggested that I not protect my tweets.  This made me smile. Of course I can protect them if I want some day but for now anyone of you can read them. But I know who is following me. And, if Casey tries to follow me or in anyway contact me in such a fashion that I know about I who I can press charges because I have told her not too! I know I do have some control over my life. I just have to remember this...

I have never had anyone else in my life that has harassed me like this for more then 3 days or so after I said to buzz off. She seems to want me as a friend, again, but an obsessed friend????? This lady has caused me so much hurt both during our friendship and after I said to stop contacting me...its unbelievable but I need to find my voice and I hope I can and will so that I don't feel so much fear...
Tomorrow I have a phone appointment with Cindy, my therapist. We will defiantly have to work on this…maybe a roll play or a preparation for a role play. Sometimes when people get upset with me or do things I don’t like I just freeze. Jenn says this might be also because of my reduced speed of processing, an issue I have had all my life. I know that as a kid in school I had to work for hours to memorize stuff. I had to work harder then most kids. I can work at this though. I can learn! I have yet to see or hear from the Occupational therapist because my doctor hasn’t yet sent in the referral Jenn and I gave him back in September. It’s January! Grrr…or maybe this is good thing. I can work very slowly at my own pace to either go out or not. I just have to hope that life is easy and that there will always be an endless quantity of great shows on TV and lovely people on Facebook and Twitter, tee hee…

 Well, in case you non-Ottawa, Canada, folk are all wondering about our snow situation here is what we got a few days ago:

And tomorrow we are expecting more snow i.e. 10-15 cm's worth!...So glad my step-dad has a snow blower....



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